Hope you’re hungry, it’s time for another hot and ready course of The DC Dish. I’m your host, the irrepressible Splash Pannell, returning for a second round in the gossip carousel for the latest scoop on our Divinely Comical universe.

I believe it was Gotham City poet laureate Prince who first asked the world, “Trust: who do you…?” Well, that’s the question that should be on everybody’s lips as we find ourselves in a world of good boys gone bad and bad girls gone good. Seems like everybody’s shaking up the personal brand, from our most beloved war criminals to the personified conceptual wrath of a supreme god. So, for this month, here’s all the goss you’ve GOT to know.
 

AVATAR OF THE GREENBACKS

We broke the news last month that the Justice League was starting to let villains back in their ranks following the King Omega tournament, bringing back some serious 2014 vibes from the whole Crime Syndicate fiasco. (See Forever Evil if you lived under a rock back then or are just preciously young.) But we have to apologize, because if anything, we undersold it to you.

Turns out it’s not just the villains who participated in the tourney joining the League. After defeating mad scientist T.O. Morrow in Bialya by literally BUYING his doomsday weapon out from under him, former US President (in case you forgot) Lex Luthor publicly extended a “Super-Villain Amnesty Program” on behalf of the Justice League, opening the door for any and all of his old Legion of Doom cronies to get in on this hot action while the getting’s good. The League, for their part, are taking this on with the totally serious solution of a “buddy system,” pairing their more delinquent new members with established superhero vets.

Captain Marvel—who we are only mentioning here because the hero also known as “Shazam” and “The Captain” seems to be going by his original name again (at least for this week)—was unavailable for comment. (Lex’s statement can be found in Justice League Unlimited #18.)
 

BRAVE AND/OR BOLD OF YOU TO ASSUME

Oh, you want to know who’s teaming up? Well, apart from Green Arrow’s son keeping an eye on Giganta, we’ve been picking up seaquakes of King Omega tourney competitors King Shark and Starro sticking by the newly self-crowned “Emperor” Aquaman in his oceanic conquest across the universe. Last I heard, imperialism had fallen seriously out of favor, but hey, if Starro the Conqueror’s on board, it must not be too bad, right? (Follow the campaign in Emperor Aquaman.)

Alongside a larger membership drive, we’re also hearing that the Titans are bringing Terra back into the fold, because that always goes so well for them. (See New Titans #34 to check out the new roster.) In Central City, the new rage seems to be putting your life in danger for money in hopes that the Flash will rescue you (fun!!!), so the Scarlet Speedser is getting proactive by turning to the best scammer he knows for help, Captain Cold. (Check it out in The Flash #32!) And even out in space, known Amanda Waller associate Dreamer of Naltor has been getting special treatment from her bestie Galaxy. She’s bringing the former Suicide Squader along on a League mission to take down Sinestro’s sister, the Witch Queen. Did you know Sinestro had a sister? Neither did we. (See the Justice League Intergalactic Special for the update.)
 

A LATE BRUNCH OF VENGEANCE

Aquaman’s not the only Leaguer making shifty moves out there, though. Even we admit it could be a lot worse: you could be a Firestorm or a Spectre fan. As you read this, the Nuclear Man and the Spirit of Vengeance have, respectively, taken the cities of Bedford, Colorado and New York, New York effectively hostage.

Okay, so one of those is a bigger deal than the other.

Still, whether these heroes out of control are related is anyone’s guess. Maybe it’s a leftover Neron deal from the King Omega takeover, who knows at this point? This is the first time we’re seeing the Spectre at all since he was forcibly merged with Darkseid during his attack on the Watchtower after the “Absolute Power” incident. (See the DC All-In Special.)

Firestorm’s ex-beau Firehawk has been dispatched to try and knock some sense into the only hero with a hairdo worse than Guy Gardner’s, but setting him back up with his ex-partner Dr. Martin Stein might be the only way to get him under control. The JSA is allegedly dealing with the Spectre situation, but they’ve taken a number of Ls lately—including some messy inter-office breakups and the deaths of some heavy hitters—so all we have to say is that New York better cross its fingers and hope they’re up to the task. (See The Fury of Firestorm and JSA, respectively.)
 

REALITY BITES ME, FANBOY

Let’s leave you with some lighter news than God’s wrath looming over America’s most populated city. In celebrity culture, intergalactic bounty hunter Lobo’s hotly anticipated new reality series from Omni Mega+ Entertainment Corp, The Main Man, has been canceled after just one episode. Turns out their star isn’t a huge fan of adhering to standards and practices. Who could have possibly seen that coming? (Even if you did, you can see the glorious mess for yourself in new issues of Lobo.)

Closer to Earth, our paparazzi on the ground tell us that Gotham’s favorite celebutante Kate Kane has checked her messy, famously ivory-white behind into rehab for partying too long and too hard. (You can rubberneck the trainwreck yourself in Batwoman.) While that’s going on, some of our international busybodies have been spotting the long-locked Batwoman trouncing around Europe…apparently getting some distance from the heiress with whom she’s frequently connected in the tabloids. Could there be trouble in paradise between one of the city’s most gossiped about unconfirmed romantic couples? When approached for comment, Kate’s father, Jacob Kane, advised us at DC Dish to “get a life.”

But hey, when gossip’s what you live for, there’s always plenty of reason to keep on breathing. We’ll be back next month with all the latest news that our hottest and our most heroic DON’T want you to know. As they say in the fifth dimension, Kill Tipsy Zim! (Which always seemed a bit harsh, personally. Zim’s an incorrigible drunk, but that hardly warrants death.)
 

Splash Pannell has been arrested no fewer than five times for skulking in Wonder Woman’s herb garden. DC.com’s Alex Jaffe has never spent a single penny on their bail.

NOTE: The views and opinions expressed in this feature are solely those of Splash Pannell and do not necessarily reflect those of DC or Warner Bros. Discovery, nor should they be read as confirmation or denial of future DC plans.