Hello, DC denizens! Your comic-loving correspondent Rosie Knight here. It's nearly Turkey Day over here in the States and so I'm serving up some news that's going to make you give thanks! After our monster-sized debut, the DC Dish is now a regular column where every month you can get all the gossip on Grodd, the tea on Terra and the drop on Deadman. So, now that I've let you in on that ginormous scoop, it’s time to get to the good stuff...or should I say bad stuff, because this month our DC Universe is getting villainous and I'm here to share all the most shocking details.
CONFIRMED: Just in Time for the Holidays, There's a Terrifying New Trinity in Town
Like all of us, you're probably still recovering from the Dark Crisis, which took its toll on everyone and, lest we forget, every universe. But if you were expecting a quiet winter, I've got bad news for you as I'm hearing rumblings of a new villainous trio who'll be causing chaos from Star City to Gotham City.
We've all known for a while that she's hardly an upstanding citizen, but Amanda Waller has finally confirmed her status as one of the world’s most dangerous villains—at least, if what I'm hearing is anything to go on. If you thought enlisting incarcerated people to be part of a government death squad was bad—and you were right, by the way—then wait until you hear what she has up her sleeve next. In an exclusive scoop that was handed to me from my most trusted sources, she's got immensely evil plans for the DC Universe that'll begin in Beast World—more on that hot goss later.
What does Waller have up her sleeve this time? Well, I'm hearing that she's desperate to create a new Task Force X while trying to eradicate metahumans from the DCU completely! What a hypocrite! Amanda, we thought you were better than that. Well, not really. But you understand.
However, what you might not understand is that there's a new Brainiac on the scene. Far from the big-headed bore of old, she's a robotic bombshell who gives a whole new meaning to "take me to your leader," am I right? Let’s just say that if you're simping for this sinister new iteration of Superman's old galactic nemesis, you might just find yourself getting your wish in the worst way possible. After all, she's likely doing what all Brainiacs do best: collecting worlds (even if she does look absolutely fabulous while doing it).
It gets worse, I’m afraid. Word is the space daddy himself, Lobo, will be aiding the Brainiac Queen in her quest. And we hear that they might even be joined by some odd allies in the form of...Green Lanterns? If you're old enough—and of course I'm not, I'm just saying if *you* are—you may remember that awful time we had with Parallax in Coast City. What a mess! People—again, not me, too young—were picking seaweed out of their shoes for weeks.
But I digress. My point is that Green Lanterns are hardly beyond corruptible, so we'll just have to wait and see how the Brainiac Queen manages to compromise them this time.
If you think that’s unlikely, I suggest you turn your attention to Gotham. It's become the stuff of legend how Batman built his own failsafe in case he was ever corrupted. And no, I don't mean the Shark Repellant on his Utility Belt. I'm talking about that pesky, oh-so-strangely named Zur-En-Arrh. Well, he's back and he's ready to destroy crime at any cost—human, alien, innocent or otherwise.
The irony here is that the worst crime of all is Zur-En-Arrh's outfit! Clashing, much? I mean, those colors are fine on their own, but purple, red and yellow together should be positively outlawed in Gotham City, especially after Labor Day. My sincerest apologies to Alan Scott, who added green to the mix and somehow made it all work. But he’s a Green Lantern. He somehow makes fighting crime with nothing more than a ring work. If you don’t have a power ring yourself, don’t expect to be able to work miracles like he does.
RUMOR: Gotham's Biggest Boys are Fighting Again
As if dealing with his own secret psyche brought to life wasn't enough, the streets of Gotham are ringing with talk that Batman's fighting with the Joker again. But this time "it's his most brutal battle yet." Thankfully, we've got our top talent on it. Chip Zdarsky—definitely his real name as my sources have confirmed—and Jorge Jiménez will be reporting on this battle to the (maybe) death for Gotham's oldest frenemies. Also, just because someone needs to say it: can someone please get Master Wayne's private therapist on the line as this has been going on for 80+ years now.
TEASE: Get Ready to Get Beastly and Meet Some Very Naughty Boys
While I'll have more news on this one for you next time 'round, my sources are buzzing about the immense danger stemming from one of our fave formerly-teen hero's superpowers. Lots of people are worried that Beast Boy is about to cause chaos in the DC Universe when his powers explode, creating a metahuman mess of mutant animal-human hybrids with superpowers of their own! And if you think that sounds scary, wait until you hear about the nightmarish Necrostar, an intergalactic threat that will make Starro, Darkseid and the Anti-Monitor look like child's play. Seriously, how’s a girl supposed to get her beauty sleep knowing something like that is out there?
Finally, it’s never too soon to start worrying about next year’s problems, especially when they’re this juicy. Remember those delightful Super Sons? Weren't they cute? Well, sweet old Jonathan and Damian have some new competition in the shape of the Sinister Sons. I hope to have a lot more on this down the line, but for now, Peter J. Tomasi and David Lafuente will be keeping an eye on the offspring of Thaal Sinestro and General Zod as they try to prove they're just as bad as their bad dads!
With that, I’d better get moving before the Maestro sends some musical mayhem my way for revealing too much about our radical rogues and their upcoming plans. Until next time, readers, this is Rosie Knight reminding you to spread the word…as long as you tell me first!
Rosie Knight is an award-winning journalist and author who loves Swamp Thing, the DC Cosmic and writing about those and more here at DC.com. You can listen to her waxing lyrical about comics, movies and more each week as she co-hosts Crooked Media's pop-culture podcast, X-Ray Vision.
NOTE: The views and opinions expressed in this feature are solely those of Rosie Knight and do not necessarily reflect those of DC Entertainment or Warner Bros., nor should they be read as confirmation or denial of future DC plans.
