Well, hello, dear readers! Though it's only been a month since my last festive treatise, it feels like far more time has passed thanks to the literally wild events that have been rocking the DC Universe. Many of us wanted nothing more than to ring in the New Year with a warm eggnog as we watched the Gotham Knights take on the Opal City Corsairs, but that became quite impossible the minute the Garro spores reached Central City and infected the Speedsters! I only found out about this thanks to Titans: Beast World Tour - Central City #1—meaning my faithful gossip mongers were too busy (or perhaps too hairy) to let me in on this small matter—which also saw the underdog West child, Jai, taking center stage. Good on that eternal wallflower!
ALERT: I Haven't Gone Crazy, the (Beast) World Has!
Before we go any further, I’d like to state for anyone reading this who’s unfamiliar with Garro, I haven't accidentally drunk too much of Scarecrow's special wellness tea. It's simply that the events of Beast World really might make a smart woman sound ridiculous. For example, I'll be saying lots of factually true statements—like, by the way, Black Adam is a lion now—and I must implore that you understand I'm being serious.
ITEM: Catching up on Garro's Gruesome Reign!
So, before we get onto the big super-sized starfish of it all, let me fill you in on some of the most outrageous events since the whole Beast Boy turned into a giant star debacle. Power Girl is now a flaming bird of some kind, which some might deem a phoenix... Very cheeky, I see what you did there. Also, thanks to Titans: Beast World #3, I was blessed with the knowledge that my favorite sharply dressed primate is back in action! That’s right, Detective Chimp is here and ready to save the day, which seems rather appropriate and has given us one of the best phrases we've heard in Gotham for a long time: "Detective Chimp and Doctor Clancy are examining Wolf-Batman now."
Allegedly Nightwing was the one to birth that little bon mot out into the universe, at least if you can believe the archivists behind Titans #6. I'd love to say that I don't believe them, but alas, my little birds have told me it’s all true, as is the rumor that the new Brother Blood—oh, I’m sorry, I mean Brother Eternity—is not only the man behind last year’s Necrostar attack, but isn’t technically even human. He’s a Tamaranean with ties to none other than Starfire. Take your family drama elsewhere, you two! Especially when it involves continent-sized world conquerors that ignite a global crisis and turn millions of people into animals!
Sadly, things aren't much better in the depths of the sea than they are on land as Mera’s transformed into a giant eel and Black Manta transformed briefly into a giant—you guessed it—black manta. (Yay for staying on brand?) And not even DC's deeper cut characters are escaping the Gar-induced chaos as the always larger-than-life Giganta transformed into a giant bear. Winnie the Who?
That one took place in the pages of Titans: Beast World #4, and it was only the SECOND worst thing to happen in it. If you’re a Beast Boy fan, you may want brace yourself. Out in the depths of space, thanks to the machinations of Amanda Waller and the powers of a lesser-known Flash villain named Chester Runk, the massive Garro was killed in a startlingly destructive display of force. I, for one, am shook and would like to say RIP to that good green boy. We'll miss you, Gar.
RUMOR: A Raven(nous) New Villain Revealed!
I'm trying to stay my usual sweet and positive self, but honestly there isn't much to be happy about right now—even though some fantastic pictures of Animal Man "sans jacket," if you know what I mean, just found their way into my inbox. If you’ve read Titans: Beast World #5, the latest missive from the feral frontlines, you know that things are only getting worse for the Titans. Although they were once our chubby-faced, baby-handed team of do-gooders, I recently learned that one of the Titans has been unmasked as the world’s newest big bad...sort of.
Yes, as devastated as I am to say it, a twisted version of Trigon's little girl has shockingly been revealed as the woman inside the Doctor Hate helmet. I always knew that trying to trap her demon side within her stylish head gem was a bad idea, but no one ever listens to little old me. Now that evil chicken has come home to roost in the form of one of the DC Universe's most formidable new villains! That can't bode well for us DC Denizens and neither does our next item.
CONFIRMED: New Kandor is Back, Baby, and So is Bizarro!
Dahlings, we just can't catch a break, can we? I was planning a luxurious little getaway to Metropolis to escape the gloominess of Gotham, and now it’s looking like those plans are on hold.
Bizarro is back, you see, but this time he's been powered up with the magic of the Wizards of Zerox, making him stronger and harder to understand than ever. Now, I've always had a soft spot for Superman's himbo mirror image, but the guy’s now more powerful than King Shark after his protein shake. And as if this weren’t bad enough, thanks to the work of Jason Aaron and John Timms in Action Comics #1061, the whole of Metropolis has somehow turned into Bizarros...Superman included! (Sigh… It was a non-refundable flight, too.)
And that's not all the bad news in the Super space I have for you. I've also gotten some in depth insight into Zod and his reign on New Kandor, and let me tell you, he's one terrible dad. Word is he’s expelled his own son and there’s no telling what that kid-sized Kryptonian might do. Quite possibly get turned into a raging beast if he heads to Earth, which begs the question, what’s worse? Being turned into a homicidal hyena…or having the world’s crankiest Kryptonian general as a dad? You tell me!
I’ll admit, my wonderful readers, I'm struggling to find a positive story to end on here. Let's just hope I'm not transformed into a beautiful centaur before February’s column when I'll hopefully be regaling you with romantic tales of saucy superhero love rather than anthropomorphic animals and Bizarro Lois!
Until next time, this is Rosie Knight reminding you to spread the word…as long as you tell me first!
Rosie Knight is an award-winning journalist and author who loves Swamp Thing, the DC Cosmic and writing the monthly gossip column here at DC.com. You can also listen to her waxing lyrical about comics, movies and more each week as she co-hosts Crooked Media's pop-culture podcast, X-Ray Vision.
NOTE: The views and opinions expressed in this feature are solely those of Rosie Knight and do not necessarily reflect those of DC or Warner Bros. Discovery, nor should they be read as confirmation or denial of future DC plans.